Neville's woe
by Fly with me
Summary: It's the middle of the night, but the Gryffindor boys are up and making confessions. Very tame.


One night, in Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts. 

Seamus awoke, irresistibly called from his dream about Parvati and Lavender predicting his death up in North Tower. He had heard crying, and he realised that it wasn't Parvati lamenting over the loss of his very toned body. Seamus cast around the dark dormitory, the faint moonlight catching on his golden hair, which was the colour of the setting sun on cornflowers. 

Realising that the soft sniffling was Neville, two beds away from himself, Seamus eagerly left his four poster. Which girl had Neville been rejected by this time? 

"Neville?" he hissed. 

"Who's there?" called Neville in fear, and ceased crying abruptly. 

"It's me, Seamus. Can't you tell by my voice?" 

"Huh?" 

"I'm Irish..." 

"Oh." 

"Yeah." 

"I guess you want to know why I was crying then..." Neville sniffed. 

Seamus considered it. 

"Yeah, but remember I already told you that Professor Delacour will never go out with you, so if its about that… well, she probably has a boyfriend anyway." 

"It's about You Know Who and Harry, really." 

"…I think she's going out with Malfoy, that BITCH!!! Huh? You Know Whassama-call-it?" 

Seamus gave Neville back his ruined pillow. 

Neville sighed despondently. "Thank you. If only he had killed my parents, then I would be famous and all the girls would like me." 

Seamus blinked. "That's a horrible thing to say! Why are you so special?" 

"Well, You Know Who had a choice between terminating the Potters or the Longbottoms." 

"How comes that was the choice?" 

"A prophecy." 

"Oh, and you reckon all the girls would fancy you if things had been different? Ginny Weasley wouldn't have shot you down in front of the entire school when you proposed to her at breakfast? Remember she ran out of the hall screaming?" 

At these words Neville wailed louder than ever, his cries breaking the dusty silence of the boy's dormitory. 

"Mmph," muttered Harry, stirring from his slumber and rubbing his eyes. "You crying again, Neville?" 

Seamus pounced on to Harry's bed, away from Neville. Harry's young, angular face creased as he tried to pull himself out of whatever delightful visions he had been experiencing. 

"Neville hates you because you stole all his glory!" Seamus shouted. "He says all the girls would fancy him if You Know Who had killed his family instead of yours!" Harry opened his mouth furiously as Neville gaped at the candid Irish boy. Harry blinked. 

"All the girls fancy me?" Harry said. 

Seamus said quickly, "All the ones that don't fancy me, yeah." 

"No one fancies me," sobbed Neville. 

"Anyway, I have problems too, you know," Harry sad whined, bringing the conversation back to him. 

" And they aren't all to do with Voldemort, either!" 

"What other problems could you have? Why are you not in therapy?" 

Harry thought about it. "I have a foot fungus." 

Seamus thought that he could beat that. 

"Parvati wouldn't go out with me because she said she would rather go out with Lavender." 

"Ew," said Harry. 

"Was she serious?" said Neville, wide eyed. 

"You shouldn't be going out with her anyway," said Harry sanctimoniously, "because she was **my** date to the Yule Ball after all." 

"Two years ago!" 

"I thought you spent the whole night staring at Cho Chang, anyway?" said Neville. Seamus's ears pricked up. 

"Yeah, well," Harry dismissed. "Look where that got me. Did I ever tell you guys that she cried when I kissed her?" 

"You actually KISSED her?" exclaimed Neville. Harry and Seamus exchanged glances. 

"Yeah, he did," said Ron. Everyone jumped. 

"Hey, Ron," greeted Harry, patting his bed. Ron padded over. 

"We were all just trying to beat each other, and see who has the most miserable life," Seamus informed him. "Harry has manky feet, Neville is a virgin - so am I come to that," Seamus confessed - 

"So am I," interrupted Harry. 

"Me too," coughed Ron. 

"And I was kicked for Lavender by Parvati," Seamus finished. So what about you, Ron?" 

"Oh, the usual," said Ron, reddening. 

"He fancies Hermione!" said Harry gleefully. 

"SHUTUPHARRY!" roared Ron. 

"Everyone knows that anyway," said Seamus, leaning comfortably back onto Harry's pillow. 

"They do?" said Ron. 

"I fancy Ginny," put in Neville. 

"I know," said Seamus. Everyone waited for Ron's reaction, tensing for the fury he would unleash… 

"What?" said Ron. 

"Remember how mad you were when Ginny dated Michael Corner?" prompted Harry, motioning with his hands for Ron to continue. Seamus expected him to whip out the popcorn. His stomach rumbled and everyone looked at him. 

"So?" said Ron. 

"Well, what do you think?" pressed Harry. 

"I don't care if she goes out with NEVILLE!" 

"Thanks," said Neville sourly. 

"It would bring unbearably shame to your family, Weasel," drawled the slow, hard voice of Draco Malfoy. Everyone screamed. 

But it was just Seamus doing an impression. 

"Right," said Seamus. "Ron fancies Hermione, Harry is in denial about his Godfather's death and can only talk about his foot fungus, I was ditched for Lavender and Neville, at sixteen, has yet to get a girl." Everybody nodded. 

"Let's wake Dean up and ask him," suggested Harry. 

Seamus leapt off Harry's bed and jumped on to Dean's but there was a thump on the floor. 

Seamus got unsteadily to his feet the on other side of his bed and pulled apart the hangings. Moonlight illuminated the bed, and Dean was not in it. 

"Oh, yeah," said Seamus knowingly. "He must be off with Ginny." 

"WHAT?" shouted Ron. 

"WHAT?" shouted Neville. 

"I'LL KILL HIM!" vowed Ron. 

"I'll help you," promised Neville. 

The dormitory creaked open, and Neville and Ron jumped on a flushed Dean Thomas. Seamus and Harry joined in because they felt like it and Dean regretted ever going out with Ginny. 


End file.
